Okay, I heard a new song from Lady Antebellum, and I thought I was gonna puke. The song said something to the effect of "How 'bout baby we make a promise to not promise anything more than one night. Complicated situations only get worse in the morning light...hey I'm just lookin' for a good time." ..It makes me sick to hear something like that. I mean, sure, I guess if you've established before hand that your relationship means nothing and there's absolutely NO EMOTION or feelings tied to the physical relations you have with someone, that's better than if you just...are in a relationship with someone and then you break up with them telling them none of it ever meant anything. I don't know. It just make me mad to hear songs like this? Does anyone agree? Does the world really look at a relationship as something that's just for fun that doesn't really have a purpose?

In English the other day we were talking about love and what it means. One kid said something like "Well, I personally thing marriage is stupid because all it does is screw up families and relationships like it did with my parents." I felt so bad for this kid because obviously he's had to deal with divorce in his family. I also felt bad for him because with that divorce happening, it's blinded his view of how wonderful marriage can be. Marriage is something that takes commitment and that, yes, does need to be endured rather than just lived sometimes. That doesn't mean its a terrible thing. Media focuses too much on the physical side of relationships and not enough on the true meat. What really keeps a relationship alive. The part where you actually get to know the person you're in a relationship. Where you talk to them and listen to what's happening in their life. Communication is the key to having a good relationship. When someone tells another they love them, does that mean "Oh, I love you, but if we ever disagree on something or you ever do anything to hurt me it's over." Is that what people mean when they say "I love you?" It seems like it to me. Through things we watch in movies and just in seeing relationships with friends and family members. It's like communication doesn't exist. Like if we actually tried to talk something out it would most definitely kill us. I'm not saying communication can cure any broken relationship, but if people would try harder, I promise there would be less problems in broken families and ruined lives from divorce.

There's another song this post makes me think of. A song that's words...just listen.
Last night I got served a little too much of that poison baby
Last night I did things I'm not proud of
And I got a little crazy
Last night I met a guy on the dance floor
And I let him call me baby

And I don't even know his last name
Oh, my mama would be so ashamed
It started off "Hey cutie, where ya from?"
And then it turned in,
"Oh no, what have I done?"
And I don't even know his last name

We left the club right around three o'clock in the morning
His Pinto sitting there in the parking lot Well it should have been a warning
I had no clue what I was getting into
So I blame it on the Cuervo
Oh where did my manners go?

And I don't even know his last name
Oh, my mama would be so ashamed
It started off "Hey cutie, where ya from?"
And then it turned in,
"Oh no, what have I done?"
And I don't even know his last name
Here we go...

Today I woke up thinkin' about Elvis somewhere in Vegas
I'm not sure how I got here
Or how this ring on my left hand just appeared out of nowhere
I gotta go
I take the chips and the Pinto and hit the road
They say what happens here stays here
All of this will disappear
There's just one little problem...

I don't even know my last name
Oh my mama would be so ashamed
It started off "Hey cutie, where ya from?"
And then it turned in,
"Oh no, what have I done?"
And I don't even know my last name

What have I done
What have I done
What have I done
Oh, what have I done
I don't even know my last name

It started off "Hey cutie, where ya from?"
And then it turned into
"Oh no, what have I done?"
And I don't even know my last name

It turned into
"Oh no, what have I done?"
And I don't even know my last name"

Uhh...Yeah. That seems cool to me too. Lets just go get drunk somewhere and get married just like that. It's like marriage doesn't even imply commitment anymore because there's always the option of getting a divorce.

What is love? Is love really just a word people use to get more now days? Is it just a word? Is there nothing attached to it like there used to be? When I think of love, I think of fire. It seems like from the world's perspective, love is a temporal fire that will eventually die down and burn into nothing. The way I see it, love should be an everlasting fire. Like the one Moses saw when he saw the burning bush. A temporal fire burns wood. It consumes it's fuel, whereas the fire on the bush burned bright, but didn't consume the bush or leave baron land. Is this not what we should mean when we tell someone we "love" them?

Little Things

Once before this I blogged about our purpose in life. As another religious post, I wanted to address something I really would like feedback on if possible. I just wonder why it's so hard for me, and others, to do the right thing when we're taught they're counsel from God. Small things like wearing shorts that are too short. Dating before we're sixteen. Not drinking coffee or alcohol. They're not big things. Yet...some of the time it seems almost impossible for me to not wear shorts that may not be terribly short...but are shorter than the church standard sets them. These are mostly just jumbled thoughts. Again, remember, if you feel uncomfortable just click the little 'X' in the top right hand corner of your screen. I don't make you read me blog, so please don't be offended by anything I write.

As I got ready for bed last night, I was sitting down to read my scriptures before I actually went to sleep. I decided to read my For the Strength of Youth pamphlet, and read the 'Dress and Appearance' section first. The first line reads "Your body is God's sacred creation." from reading this I feel that if I want to truly believe the words that come later and want to make it easier to follow the modesty standard of the church, I need to develop a firm testimony of that first statement. Do I honestly believe my body to be a sacred creation and Gift from God? Later on the section reads "Your dress and grooming send messages about you to others and influence the way you and others act." How true is that. Seriously, how many times have you been in the situation where some girl walks in wearing short shorts and a tank top and for some odd reason that no one can exactly put their finger on, all the guys in the group flock to that girl and flirt with her like there's no tomorrow? I can't tell you how many times I've seen things like that happen.

This morning, after having read these words and praying about them I started cleaning my room like I normally do on Saturday mornings. As I picked up the mounds of clothes I came across my one pair of little red short shorts. Not incredibly short..but short enough that every time I wear them, I think all people see is my legs. Like nothing else on my body is visible. I suddenly start to notice guys complimenting me and giving me hugs and touching me in ways that they otherwise never do. Sometimes I think they're cute. When they're on I feel embarrassed and stupid that I gave in to the temporal side of myself. I picked up my shorts, went to the kitchen, got the kitchen sheers, and started cutting my shorts. I cut the shorts in to tiny pieces and then took the scraps of short shorts to the big, green garbage can in our garage. I started crying as I threw the remains away. Not because I was so sad they were gone, but because I felt so at peace with the choice I'd made. Cutting the shorts seems extremely cheesey and unnecessary. It may be. But I felt as if cutting the shorts was symbolic of me making a promise that I'd try to do better when it came to dressing modestly. After all, if you're always in the presence of God, wouldn't you always want to be dressed accordingly?

It's been way too long...

here's something I saw happen at school yesterday. Sitting at lunch, my friend and I were talking, when I saw a boy (We'll call him Billy) being made fun of and him starting to get extremely angry. Now, it's a known fact that this boy gets mad REALLY easily and that he will try to start a fight even though it's apparent he'll lose by a mile. Apparently, what happened is that Billy was listening to his iPod, and someone asked what he was listening to. He showed them the album cover and I guess there was a picture of a partially naked girl on the front cover of the Album/CD. I understand why people may be shocked by such an image, but at the same time..the guys who started making fun of this kid are the same guys who talk about how sweet it was they got to stay right next to Hooters last year in Vegas for their baseball trip. The same guys who listen to Biance (Sp?) and Jessica Simpson and have the same types of pictures on their iPods as well. As they made fun of him, he obviously got furious and started picking a fight. Then, as usual, a teacher comes by, sees Billy picking the fight, and Billy's the one who gets in trouble. Yes. Billy gets in trouble when he's been unjustly provoked. Why do people do this? I mean, yes, it is kind of funny to see someone get as mad as Billy gets so easily. But seriously, who just goes around doing that for fun?? Just because you can control yourself better than other's doesn't mean you're better than them in any way. It just makes me so mad. I should've said something. I honestly can't believe I just sat there and let it happen.

Wow. I do hope that in writing this I haven't offended anyone. I just have a few thoughts pouring out of my head right now. I wish I could write them all here..

I miss Brigham.