I am not a mother, so I can't say I've ever truly felt a mothers love. Everyone says it's a different kind of love. (I guess a father would feel it too) but every time I see these little boys-- when I hear them laugh, cry, or do just about anything-- I feel a joy I've never felt before. I wonder what I would do if anything happened to them... so I can only imagine the worry and concern that must go through the heads of their actual parents when things go wrong.
Sometimes it's hard for a hormonal teenage girl to remember how much she owes to her own mother. As I sit and think about the horrible things I've said to my mom in times when I feel like I have no control over my anger, the things I've said even when I DO have control over myself, I realize how much more I need to learn in this life. Sometimes I feel like I say things to mom I wouldn't say to anyone else because I know she'll still love me even if I am not always kind and forgiving to her.
If you know me at all you probably know that I get scared of things easily. I hate halloween because it seems like everyone enjoys getting scared...except me-- of course. One thing I am seemingly terrified of is life. Life is hard!! I'm not saying MY life specifically is harder than everyone elses, I'm just saying life in getneral is HARD! I'm just starting to grasp this concept. School is hard this year and I'm more stressed than ever about grades, doing well with violin, medical issues, but I kknow that's what life is and I'm just starting to learn how to take control of it. Sometimes the only way I know how to stay sane is by finding someone I can take out my stress on and because mom and dad will always forgive me it seems they usually get the brunt of "who I take my stress out on." As much as I hated the movie "Where the Wild Things Are," it seemed to sum up my feelings pretty plainly.
"He doesn't mean to act like this-- he's just scared." That's not to say it's okay, but this is just how I feel right now. I know I can get past it, but we'll have to work through it together. Love you mom and dad :)
3 comments:
I love you too, my Nat.
We will work through it together. Always.
I love you more than anything and appreciate everything you do!
Dad
I have a friend who thought life was supposed to be easy and wonderful all the time. When it turned out to be hard she became bitter and cynical. She sees life generally through negative eyes.
This makes it hard for her to look like you do for how she can learn from each difficult situation; and turn it into something positive.
I see you learning that life is not easy and that we overcome our weaknesses one step at a time. Some people never figure that out...like you already have.
Yes, we will work through it together because we love each other.
I love and respect you for being genuine and for all that you are and do.
Mom
baby snatcher
Post a Comment