Mind Tricks

It's amazing to me how the human brain can be totally convinced at one moment that something isn't a big deal; that it doesn't matter, and that you honestly DO NOT CARE! Then, the next minute, your mind is chalk full of vivid images of certain events and you feel your heart breaking ever so slowly. It's like a little kid pulling a piece of paper apart when they're just learning how to use their hands. Gradually. Slowly. And you wish you could yank it from their hands and rip it for them, simply because you're running out of time and that little piece of paper is only coming apart one small strand at a time.
Do you readers understand the feeling I'm talking about? It's like when something hits you for the first time. Yes, you knew about it before, but it's not just starting to engulf your thoughts. To wrap a blanket of hopelessness around you and swallow you whole.
I'm also amazed at how many different situations this can be. Take a death for instance. I know, when my grandfather died, i started bawling the moment my dad told me. But I think that was merely the shock of knowing he was gone, because later on that day, I was completely fine. I told myself "He's with God now!" or "He's up there waiting for me." I knew I'd see him again, because families are forever. A few days later, I remember waking up and all I could see was my grandpa's dead body laying in his bed and my mom performing CPR on him. Horrific. Paralyzing. Petrifying. Those are words that come to mind remembering grandpa Fred's passing. I felt like a part of me drifted off with him. Like a part of me was missing. I heard people sniffling and blowing their noses. I looked around my small room covered in flowery wallpaper. No one. I heard sobs and cries for help. No one. All the sudden this tragedy became so real to me. But why?
"Some minds remain open long enough for the truth not only to enter but to pass on through by way of a ready exit without pausing anywhere along the route." This quote from Elizabeth Kenny shares an important and vital message to all who read it. It shows that not only do we need to open our minds to hear truth, but keep it open and let it pass through. Whether the truth be good or bad news, whether it helps or hurts us. If we close our minds and give truth a place to dwell, there is no question we'll blow it out or proportion.
Basically...all in all, the human mind amazes me. Sometimes we want to just forget about things, but because we want to forget them so badly, we end up thinking about how much we want to forget them and then...WOAH! WE DON'T FORGET THEM! Sometimes we say we feel a certain way multiple times, and then once we really think we mean it. Then that I'm-not-so-sure feeling comes back. You DO care. But how can you show it if all the odds are pointing against you. You're too young. You don't look the right way. You don't engage in the right extra curricular activities. You're too old. (These, by the way, are just random things I'm throwing out there.) It's amazing.